I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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