I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
