Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
