arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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