I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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