News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
