I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
