My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
