I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
