the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just had sex bonerless
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
