jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I love you.
Bad choice
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