I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Randomize
