You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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