i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
