if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
