dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
