You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
