Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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