As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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