Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So much rum. So many feels.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
