I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
