3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
