it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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