Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
