i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Randomize
