its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize