I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize