I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
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