if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
