who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
