I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
