I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
