I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize