giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
