literally had 100 drinks last night.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
