last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
