if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
