even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
