i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
