They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
