Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
