After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
