i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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