I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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