My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
