Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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