What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
