id be glad to
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
it's like heaven, but drunker
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
