Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
