I have demons in me.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize