i don't like sucking hair
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
