Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
