The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
