You just made me feel so damn special
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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