If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
