I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
