just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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